just finished watching the last episode of heroes, which all in all is a pretty good watch. i must admit though i have one very big issue with the dramatic ending (SPOILER ALERT - if you haven't completed watching the entire series then stop reading this paragraph), which is when peter petrelli's brother flew in and picked up his brother to fly off to space to explode, thus saving the world. my problem is, that since flying was basically the very first power that peter absorbed from his brother in one of the earliest episodes, why didn't he just fly off into space himself? this way he would still survive with the power of invulnerability that he gained from the cheerleader, and his brother wouldn't have to die. doh.

anyway. i was driving in sydney tonight and i realised that i love how australian motorists automatically stop when they hear a siren, and even get out of the way by riding curbs and driving to the other other side of the road to let an ambulance or the police through. yes yes there is the penalty of a monetary fine if you don't do so, but even then it really is a very simple yet powerful demonstration of human compassion. you would never ever observe such a scene in singapore.

also, i killed the biggest damn spider that i've ever seen in my life tonight. (being a massive arachnophobe, this is a huge achievement) i was sitting in the car waiting for gwyn when a huntsman spider exactly like in the picture on the right dashed across the windscreen. fortunately it was outside the car, and there was a can of insecticide in the car. thank God for small mercies.. anyway we sprayed it with enough insecticide to fill a pool but it still wouldn't die. then it proceeded to fall off the car and onto the road, so i took my slipper and smacked it straight to spider heaven/hell. (with a tissue spread out over it of course, they were nice slippers)

i hate spiders.

the photo on the right is a portrait of adele bloch-bauer, a viennese aristocrat, by one of my favourite painters and artists, gustav klimt. it recently was sold for a record sum of $135m,  and guess who it was bought by? this guy. anyway, ain't it pretty? i've been a fan of his work since i've laid eyes on his more famous piece 'der kiss', and this one is quite brilliant as well.

in other news... ming passed along this link to me this morning, and frankly i have no words to describe it. just check it out  ... will be back in s'pore on the 1st of july, but will be in jarkata for my first golfing trip with my dad and two uncles from the 16th to the 21st, so keep those two first weeks free peoples... finally, the drama surrounding the murder of the 2 s'poreans in sydney is over.

There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon 
Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon 
And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her 
Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms 

There are things that drift away like our endless, numbered days 
Autumn blew the quilt right off the perfect bed she made 
And she's chosen to believe in the hymns her mother sings 
Sunday pulls its children from the piles of fallen leaves 

There are sailing ships that pass all our bodies in the grass 
Springtime calls her children until she let's them go at last 
And she's chosen where to be, though she's lost her wedding ring 
Somewhere near her misplaced jar of Bougainvillea seeds 

There are things we can't recall, Blind as night that finds us all 
Winter tucks her children in, her fragile china dolls 
But my hands remember hers, rolling around the shaded ferns 
Naked arms, her secrets still like songs I'd never learned 

There are names across the sea, only now I do believe 
Sometimes, with the window closed, she'll sit and think of me 
But she'll mend his tattered clothes and they'll kiss as if they know 
A baby sleeps in all our bones, so scared to be alone
springtime

- iron & wine -

and today we delve into the library of knowledge behind haemophilia, which is what my cousins and i inherited from our mother's grandfather and also gave me my pes E status in army. given that it is a genetic disorder that can only be passed from one family member to another, this link might prove to be an interesting read:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haemophilia_in_European_royalty

see? i told you i was special.

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they're real
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures are
All I can feel

Remembering
You standing quiet in the rain
As I ran to your heart to be near
And we kissed as the sky fell in
Holding you close
How I always held close in your fear
Remembering
You running soft through the night
You were bigger and brighter and whiter than snow
And screamed at the make-believe
Screamed at the sky
And you finally found all your courage
To let it all go

Remembering
You fallen into my arms
Crying for the death of your heart
You were stone white
So delicate
Lost in the cold
You were always so lost in the dark
Remembering
You how you used to be
Slow drowned
You were angels
So much more than everything
Hold for the last time then slip away quietly
Open my eyes
But I never see anything

If only I'd thought of the right words
I could have held on to your heart
If only I'd thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart
All my pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you
But I never hold on to your heart
Looking so long for the words to be true
But always just breaking apart
My pictures of you

There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to never feel the breaking apart
All my pictures of you

- the cure -

finally i am home in s'pore. i have been back for just over a week now, and life has been simple, fun and meaningful, just the way i like it. (before you read on, a disclaimer: this entry is more or less just a recap of the past week's events, and it's pretty much for my personal reference. in other words, if you have something better to do, do it.) first night in s'pore was spent with eug, sha and teng which started first outside rouge with a few drinks. it then proceeded to evolve into a s'porean version of pub crawling, where the second destination was balcony at the heeren and then concluded at dxo. anyway the second stop proved to be a whole lot more eventful, faciliated with 7 bottles of moet & chandon as well as the occasional shot of sex on the beach and a few beers. there was a hen night taking place at the table next to us, who chose us to assist them in the process of induction into marriage for the bride to be, i.e. they sabo'ed her and we were her props. eug had the relatively simple task of providing a namecard along with words of seductive prose (he came up with 'sexy yet intriguing' - dude you need to read more books), whilst my task was significantly more interesting, since i had to place a rolled up 5 dollar bill into the bride's cleavage with my mouth. doh. these things always seem to happen to me.

sunday morning was surprisingly pleasant despite my inevitable hangover, because my sister sam brought her daughter nikki over, and she is still the most beautiful thing in the world. i was worried that my extended exodus to sydney would affect her memory of me, but amazingly she still recognizes me. maybe she can sense all the unconditional love that i have stored in my heart for her. sam cooked me scrambled eggs with croissants whilst i was playing with nikki, then i read my book, and headed off for basketball at chinese high. (ed's note: playing ball in s'pore is such an underrated pleasure and indulgence of mine. you get to catch up with all your mates, and of course there's also basketball.) had the usual sunday dinner with the grandparents at ivins where i bumped into edgar, and then i was treated to the latest harry potter film at the citibank gold class cinema at great world city with eug, deanna and keith. had dinner with grandparents and family at ivins, where i met edgar, then i proceeded to great world city to watch harry potter with eug, diana and keith. it was a decent watch, although this episode involved the first hard cover edition of the harry potter series which was three times the size of the previous three novels, so you can't help but feel that they're trying to fit in too much information into 3 hours of film.

monday i babysat nikki again in the morning and sent her to the nursery in the afternoon, then i headed to meet jeremy at his place to resume our winning 11 battles on the playstation. had dinner at home with mom after which i headed to sicc to play tennis with eug. finally i ended the day by finishing my book together with a nice glass of scotch. funnily enough, my mom walked past my room where she caught me reading my book with a cigarette in hand and a glass of scotch in the other, and then proceeded to lecture me about how her brother smoked and drank his life away and she didn't want me to end up like him. in other words, she thought i was an alcoholic. doh. anyway i think i will be doing plenty of reading this time back, any to recommend? i might finally read the great gatsby even. (ed's note - i actually did read the great gatsby)

tues - spent the afternoon reading my book, then had drinks with geraldine at barstop.

wed - golf at laguna with auntie rose (shuhua's mom), her son and yang... she was nice enough to buy us lunch along with the green fees... shot like a 115 which was the worst that i've played for a long time... playing in s'pore isn't easy man. although i must admit that they treat you like kings here, they load your clubs into the buggie for you and even clean them after you're done. they also have those cool air guns to clean your shoes!  rushed home to send kong kong and por por to gu gong's place for his b'day dinner, then sent mom to auntie sheila's place to drop off x'mas presents. then i met teng, edgar and daniel and headed to loof to check out the final stages of construction, looks to be turning out quite nicely. anyway teng and i went to play some command and conquer generals with eug and nick at mechmasters, then we called it a night.

in the midst of struggling to finish an essay, i went out for a smoke and came across quite a sight: a blue sunrise.

damn it was nice.

hi all, sorry for the long hiatus, but there were... distractions. not the good kind, anyway hopefully that's over and done with. or at least i've summed up enough strength to maintain some sort of normality in my life. it's all good.

my eldest sister was in town for both business and leisure recently, and i was fortunate enough to spend a good portion of the trip with her despite my impending exams. plus she spoiled me rotten, and i loved it. *grin* on tuesday she brought me to the renowned tetsuya's for dinner together with her boss and friend, it might be a tad bit overpriced but it was worth the experience though. together with a brilliant bottle of red wine, we enjoyed a ten course meal (with three courses reserved for dessert), and each dish was like an explosion of flavours. everyone should be lucky enough to visit this restaurant at least once. wednesday i brought my sister down to bondi junction where we shopped and ate for 6 and a half bloody hours, and eventually retired to her hotel room in the westin to take in a lazy dinner with room service food while watching 'the kingdom of heaven'. i dunno why but this orlando bloom fella just doesn't appeal to me.

thursday and friday we left each other to our own devices, then met up again on saturday when i gave her a quick tour of my university campus and then proceeded to the fish market. had a great lunch of seafood and oysters, and then decided to head to double bay for shopping and to visit the max brenners chocolate bar. good stuff. returned to the hotel room to take a nap, only to discover ppl shooting a scene in martin place for the upcoming superman movie. hung around to try catch a glimpse of the celebrities scheduled to appear in the movie (i.e. kevin spacey, kate bosworth) but with no success. it was pretty cool though, they really did up the section of martin place to look like new york, complete with left-hand drive yellow cabbies, newspaper dispensing machines and even the trash bins were the ones they use in the states. my sis and i walked down to sydney harbour at circular quay for an excellent dinner at cru, where during dinner there was a lovely fireworks display over the water right above the sydney opera house. then to end off the night we chilled in her hotel room and watched 'the island', which was quite a good watch actually, i strongly recommend it. stayed over and had breakfast with her the next morning in the hotel, and then bade her adieu. bye sis, hope you had fun, looking forward to returning to s'pore in a few week's time.

misc:

- played golf with jase at eastlakes yesterday, chipped in for birdie on a par 4, i tell you the feeling is almost better than sex. almost.  shot an overall 101 though, even when a sub-100 score was clearly in reach (esp with my front nine) but i capitulated on the last 4 holes. doh.

- speaking of golf, i came across this interesting list of hollywood's top 100 golfers. guess who's at number one? (hint: think 'the day after tomorrow')

- had dinner with gwyn, ruth, vicky and esther at kingsford chinese on sunday night. always good to catch up with friends from the past.

- fun link # 1: where's the rake?

- fun link # 2: ruth passed me the link to this awesome site, this one's for the cat ppl out there

- for those interested, exams end on the 17th of november and i'll be back in s'pore on the 26th. be afraid, be very afraid.

Standing at the door of the Pink Flamingo crying in the rain
It was a kind of so-so love
And I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen again
You and I had to be the standing joke of the year
You were a run around, a lost and found
And not for me, I fear

Take your hands off me, hey
I don't belong to you, you see
Take a look in my face, for the last time
I never knew you, you never knew me
Say hello goodbye
Say hello and wave goodbye

We tried to make it work, you in a cocktail skirt
And me in a suit, but it just wasn't me
You're used to wearing less, and now your life's a mess
So insecure you see
Well I've put up with all the scenes,
This is one scene that's goin to be played my way

Take your hands off me, please
I don't belong to you, you see
And take a look in my face, for the last time
I never knew you, you never knew me
Say hello goodbye
Say hello and wave goodbye
Say hello and wave goodbye

Under the deep red lights, I can see the make-up sliding down
Well hey little girl you will always make up
So take off that unbecoming frown
As for me well, I'll find someone who's not goin cheap in the sales
A nice little housewife, who'll give me the steady life
And not keep going off the rails

Take your hands off me, please
I don't belong to you, you see
Take a look in my face, for the last time
I never knew you, you never knew me
Say hello goodbye
Say hello and wave goodbye
Say hello and wave goodbye
Say hello and wave goodbye

Oh oh oh...
Say hello, wave goodbye
Say hello and wave goodbye
Say hello, wave goodbye
Goodbye

"say hello, wave goodbye" - david gray

Scream to no one 
Take your time 
Sing it louder 
Twist and shout 
Concrete girl don't fall down 
In this broken world around you 
Concrete girl don't fall down 
Don't fall down my concrete girl 

Don't stop thinking 
Don't stop feeling now 

One step away from where we were 
And one step back to nothing 

And we're standing on top of our hopes and fears 
And we're fighting for words now concrete girl 
And we're swimming around again, again 
And we're swimming around now 
Concrete girl 

Concrete girl don't fall down in this broken world around you
Concrete girl don't fall down
Don't fall down my concrete girl

Concrete girl don't fall down in this concrete world around you
Concrete girl don't fall down
Don't break down my concrete girl

"concrete girl" - switchfoot

was doing some surfing on the internet and came across this link for the rankings of the top 40 magazine covers of the past 40 years:

http://www.magazine.org/editorial/13730.cfm

pretty cool photos. don't you sometimes wish that you could be some celebrity photographer like david lachapelle? it would be such an awesome lifestyle, you'd get to travel, mingle with various celebrities and famous personalities, and have your photos circulated worldwide on different magazine covers. how cool!! speaking of fantasy occupations, mine's to be an nba sports writer. what's yours? think about it. *grin*

misc - played golf with jase yesterday at eastlakes, man that's a tough course. but at least i managed to get a birdie on a par 4 for the first time in my life, 109 overall over 18 holes... sham's leaving sydney today, all the best of luck woman, please take care and be strong, i know you'll beat this... i miss my niece, nicci... happy b'day loke, you warped man... oh yeah i got locked out of college last night when i was taking a smoke on the common room balcony, the wind blew shut the door that can only be opened from the inside. so i had to climb and jump down from the 1st floor balcony and get back into college through the front door... lucky i brought my key with me. doh.

last night i was introduced for the first time to the modern phenomenon that is ebay.com, and i must admit that i was quite blown away. i've heard R, then D and C sing of the praises and joys that one can experience shopping online, but never did i know how true it was. you can find almost anything there, from movie memorabilia to $3 2nd-hand golf shoes that have been worn less than a dozen times. for reasons unknown i was surfing ebay for stuff from the movie the life aquatic with steve zissou, and discovered auctions for the red beanie and close replicas of the shoes that were made by adidas for team zissou (shown in the picture). close, but not the real thing. aren't they cool? i so want them but they're out of production and sold out. dammit. one day, i will find them.

in other news, went for the ssa 1920s gangster ball on friday night and it was quite impressive... great decorations and ppl actually put in the effort to dress up and look the part. the free flow of alcohol rocked as well, although my night personally was cut short when i had to look after a drunk friend and send him home :P bugger. but it wasn't all bad, ended up at R's place and played poker with the bunch till 5 am in the morning. good stuff. oh yeah and i just thought of another way to describe hootie and the blowfish music. it's got feeling.

"do you see heaven, like i do... or is it just me, wanting you..."

only the hootie and the blowfish could write a song that begins with a line like that. how power. last night, a fellow shalom resident came up to my room to steal some songs off my computer via her usb drive. i always enjoy passing ppl songs from my collection, i suppose you could compare it enjoying a good bottle of vintage red wine with good friends. anyway, as the night went on, i slowly began to learn her taste for music, and learnt that it was pretty similar to mine. with this discovery, i deemed her worthy enough to share my secret stash of untold treasures with, namely my collection of cds. after listening to a few gems here and there, we finally stumbled across one of my three cds of hootie and the blowfish, and from the first song she was hooked. ah, hootie.

which brings us to this entry. this is a tribute to the band hootie and the blowfish. i know that there aren't many diehard fans like me out there anymore, so i am taking it upon myself to continue passing on the torch and the knowledge of the legacy that is hootie and the blowfish. i first discovered hootie during my secondary school days, with their first album 'cracked rear view'. admittedly they were a wee bit commercial then, but thankfully so if not i would have never heard of them. the initial hits that were burning up the radio waves then were 'let her cry', 'only want to be with you', and 'hold my hand'. but their true brilliance shone through in the other tracks in the cd, and i was hooked. only with hootie, can you feel the hurt and angst with every word sung by their lead vocalist darius rucker, can you identify with the emotions behind the lyrics that hit you like a bus, or can you literally rise and fall with every tone or guitar rift. i can remember each and every song that i chose to listen to whenever i lost a tennis match, or got my heart broken, or when i just wanted to dance alone in my room, and hootie never disappointed me. give it a try peoples, and i hope that their songs make you feel the same way that they make me. that being said, i leave you with the lyrics from one of their more powerful concoctions:

only lonely

Hello again
Your words they make me smile
As I drift away
In my little room upstairs

Oh I spend my nights
Imagining your face your touch
Then I realize
How I don't even know your name

If we could share our time
Would I disappoint your fantasies
I believe that you could be the one I'm needing
'cause I'm

only lonely on the inside
didn't mean to take away your dreams
only lonely on the inside
when you close your eyes to your deepest thoughts

I could start to give apologies
For all the stupid things That I will say and I will do
If we should ever cross the same place at the same time
Would your world skip a beat 'cause it was me

If we could share our life
Would I disappoint your memories
I believe that I could be the one your needing
And I'm

CHORUS

If I could give back your hopes your joys your treasures
Don't you think that I would change my world
But there's so many things trying to pull us together
Even though we're far apart I can still watch you walk away

Only lonely on the inside
Didn't mean to take away your dreams
Only lonely on the inside
When you close your eyes do you see me

(in your deepest thoughts do you see me)
(when you close your eyes, in your deepest thoughts do you see me)

now isn't this retarded. i just wrote an entry about fear of abandonment, and about how it prevents you from being vulnerable to anything and anyone. but that being said, i can't bring myself to post it publicly. irony, thy name is yik. anyway for the time being it can only be viewed by certain multiply ppl who i know will care. or at least, a little bit. you know who you are.

on to happier things. my sister sam celebrated her daughter nikki's 1st b'day on saturday in s'pore, and apparently i missed a very grand occasion. there were heaps of ppl, food, a balloon sculpturist, a magic show and a two-tier b'day cake to top it off. (there was a magician!!) happy b'day baby, sorry i wasn't there to join in the celebrations but know that i love you with every fibre of my being, even though you're only one and can't even walk or talk.

meanwhile, the other sister sara called me on sunday to announce her imminent arrival to sydney in the first week of november. can't wait. hardly get to spend any quality time with her these days, what with me in sydney and her jetsetting all over the damn world. plus, she also mentioned to keep the 1st of november free 'cos she's booked a table for four at tetsuya's. she so does rock. which leaves me to attempt to get all my work out of the way to prepare for the joyous times i know we'll enjoy during her time here. hopefully it'll be done. family rocks.